2014考研英语作文考场范文批改及点评一-考研-考试吧(2014考研英语一阅读解析)

　　查看更多 考研英语作文考场范文批改及点评

　　考研英语作文考场范文:道德滑坡

　　①looking at this thought-provoking picture(加“which was”,其间which引导定语从句，润饰picture;was和后边的depicted构成被逼语态) symbolically depicted by the drawer, i do realize the urgency to improve the moral standards nowadays. ②a pregnant woman, an old man and his little granddaughter stands(“stands”改为“stand”，该句主语为复数，主谓应坚持共同)on the crowded bus, looking at a young man who sits in the seat comfortably with a piece of black cloth covering his eyes, puzzled and indignant(“puzzled and indignant”是用来润饰the yong man, 或是作者“感到利诱和愤恨”，应表达清楚;若要表达作者的情感，可改为:…covering his eyes. i feel puzzled and indignant).①the temporary blind in the picture indicates a serious phenomenon in the modern society that some young people are suffering from moral decline. ②the reasons contributing to moral decline are worth pondering. ③first, respecting the old and caring the young is abandoned by some modern people, because they only care about their own benefits. ④only if you could provide them with a great outcome(“a great outcome”改为“great outcomes”，和them坚持共同), will they lend you a hand(“a hand”改为“hands”，和they坚持共同) in exchange. ⑤in addition, the educational system is also to blame(“be to blame for”意为“对……应担任任;大约为某事担任任”，假定要表述“教育体系也应对此担任”，可表达为: the educational system is also to blame for the phenomenon;如若要表述“教育体系也应遭到责怪”，可表达为the educational system shoul

d also to be blamed). ⑥it emphasizes more on high marks at the expense of having few time to teach traditional moral values in school which leads to people’s defect (“defect”为可数名词，此处应改为“defects”和people坚持共同)on this issue.①it is high time that we fostered our moral values. ②for one thing, schools and governments should play an active role (“an active role”应改为“active roles”，前后主谓坚持共同，主语为schools and governments)in advocating moral values and traditional virtues to teach the young. ③for another, individuals should learn more about virtues and help people around with a warm heart(“a warm heart”改为“ warm hearts”,前后单复数坚持共同). ④only through our joint effort(“effort”应改为“efforts”,前后单复数坚持共同), could we recollect the virtues.

　　原作点评

　　第一段描绘图像的内容。第①句，picture大约是被drawer描绘的，所以大约用被逼语态“be+动词的曩昔的、分词”来标明;第②句最终，表达不可清楚，应留心。第二段提示图像的涵义，论说发生此表象的几个缘由。应留心单复数疑问。第三段联系前两段的论说，提出主张。

　　全体点评

　　文章亮点:文章规划无缺，每个期间的功用根柢得以体现。文章差错:①语法差错:文章呈现了一些语法差错，比方被逼语态、名词单复数方法等。②句法差错:有的语句表达不可理解。比方第一段第②句，第二段第⑤句。批改定见:文章全体规划不错，可是要留心一些细节，避免不必要的差错。这篇文章中，单复数共同疑问较多，期望作者在结束习作时应多查看，尽量削减此类差错。
　　修改举荐:

　　考试吧:2014考研冲刺备考辅导专题

　　2014考研英语作文猜测、材料模板及辅导

　　考试吧:2014年考研冲刺预查验题及答案

　　考试吧1月4日考后首发2014年考研真题及答案解析